Fruition and the effects on our environment.

What a year! And I think I already mentioned this a lot in my past blogs, hahaha. Now we can look back with a big smile and deep gratitude for the life lessons and experiences from the past period. After last week’s ceremonies, we all managed to move a huge amount of the luggage and process it to wonderful insights and results after hard labor on our own shadow side and recalibrating the balance intune with Mother nature's vibration. As we are supposed to be as human beings.

For the first time in my life I believe I discovered point 0 on the balance scale of my masculine and feminine sides. My wife had the exact same experience! So this past week we had a good time with work and balanced it with deep rest when the space offered it. Thanks to the rise of polarity between us, sexual energy ( = LIFE ENERGY!) grew back in ways we have never had before. So you can imagine the result in the house when people found this harmony inside and can then share it with their loved ones. The support grows, unconditional love finally reaches a point of true meaning. And the trust we have for each other.


So what now? Are we done working on our relationships?

I don’t think so and that doesn’t feel right to me…

Now we can curiously discover our relationship in more depth and see how we can grow together in the future. By bringing our insights and dreams together and developing a long term blueprint to build a structure in our ideas and see how to navigate them into reality. This sounds very fluffy, but the core of this message is very clear to me now.

The responsibility and power that one human has to create their life is mind blowing and not everyone masters it or even believes in it.

This doesn’t take away that we all can create the opportunities to go and embark on our own journey to discover our own true power and medicine as individual souls on planet earth. We are here to experience and express our own unique medicine to co-create this reality that allows us to experience this wide range of emotions, sensations, adventures, duality, love, separation,.... You name it! Often the question pops up, but then how and where do I start? Within, your dearest treasure lay within your own shadow. We have been raised as kids to believe that “the darkness” is dangerous and to be avoided. But through this belief we cast away our own subconscious dark side and so we deny half of our nature or essence of being. Of course this won’t be comfortable, fear might be almost shocking to you as soon as you take your first steps into confronting your own fears, anger, shame, grief, traumas,... No, this isn’t fun and demands a lot of courage, but the growth and strength you will discover is pure magic to the modern human of today.

By my own sense and observation through my personal life experience it was very rare to encounter people that were really aware of themselves and their influence on the world around them. Only that was an image I was about to grow out of when I grew out of my young 20’s. Breath and physical exercise gave me a strong foundation to ground myself and to start peeling off the blocked energy to find understanding while cleaning to discover clarity. Even when anger or anxious feelings would arise it helped me to channel it into productive energy to take care of my body and find peace in mind. Kung fu and climbing were my biggest teachers and guides in this chapter of the journey. During these times I was also discovering the world of entheogenic substances and their nature, but this came more into a serious curiosity after doing some hard body work and healing myself from scoliosis. Scoliosis is a curved back and it hurts practically all the time and limitates your capacity of using your body in a healthy way and blocks the road towards strengthening the body even more. So a bone doctor advised me to take a look at my diet and while he would put things straight again, I had the responsibility to train myself with the focus on the right muscle groups to keep my new posture and to strengthen the muscles in balance to maintain healthy growth.

This process was very interesting looking back to it now, while going through the physical changes I discovered that my body posture was connected to the heavy load that I was keeping in my luggage and that this wasn’t going to be a quick healing process but hard work for years. Cleaning up the emotions and memories that came back over the years. This is where I found for myself the strength in plants to give me these insights and to help me deal with the energetical and mental process of what was connected and what I suppressed from childhood.


I was used to suppressing my emotions, continuously anxious and feeling like I needed to survive. So this brings up an attitude of fighting and keeping down whatever you don’t want to face. Because this will slow you down when you need to survive. But along the way there came a point that I couldn’t get around it anymore. I need to go inside and face my dark side… That’s the point in my life that Peru opened up to me and that Ayahuasca took me under her wing as a teacher, a healer and a mother figure on the other side. I learned to let go and accept what every day offered. Understanding that I will always be taken care of and have everything I need to get through the day. Step by step dropping my armor and weapons I discovered that I was the one stopping myself and needed to flip things around and embrace my shadows with love and gratitude.

Black holes started to fill up and my experience of the world around me was drastically and wildly changing by gaining deeper insights into the mechanisms of my own being and the world we live in. By remembering who I really am I gained a strength and confidence that I couldn’t even dream of a couple of years ago. The fulfillment of years of work is a wonder to witness and shared with loved ones. After countless times thinking we were lost in the darkness forever, dancing and balancing with insanity. We discovered our inner fire and light to become whole again and start to build a beautiful life where we can grow and dream together. All we had to do was trust and jump into the dark hole.

Now this week's blog might be very short, but to me it is very powerful and I hope it can encourage any of you to keep your heads up and hearts strong when times seem endlessly dark without possibilities. The key is to trust and understand deeply that the sun always comes up after the darkest hour of the night and now that everything you encounter in life is here to teach and deliver a gift or a blessing through experience instead of hurting you or messing up your life. I wish to everybody that they can find their own inner fire and light to become their authentic selves, share themselves and thrive in this world to co-create a healthy balanced world for all of us and future generations. Don’t forget that this is something that will affect the long term perspective and is a key insight to keep hope and find the strength to continue on your life's journey.


My love and blessings to all of you, Nick


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